I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
