TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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