We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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