I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
