apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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