I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
