Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
