Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
