Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
