If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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