sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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