No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
did i walk over a car last night?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
