no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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