He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
