omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize