were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
