i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
