just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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