He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
