how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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