Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
