I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
