Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
