I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
