I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
