now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
