I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
