if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
