he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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