Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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