woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
