his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
