just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
