quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
