Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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