I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
