Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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