I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize