dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
