you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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