I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
