i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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