it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
