She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
