I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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