what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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