I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The uberlube is also flammable
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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