North Korea, Best Korea!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
