i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
