she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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