i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just sucked dick on a ferry
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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