Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I smell like Dick and happiness
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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