Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
