i don't plan on having that self control this summer
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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