I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
