let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
