direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
