remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He felt like a one man threesome
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
