I bet he comes in French.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
